I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
