He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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