Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize