my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
