eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
