doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
