hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
found the other keg... it's in the tree
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
