I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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