I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
