ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Randomize
