That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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