Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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