Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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