Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
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Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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