i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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