$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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