doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
