Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
