Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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