I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize