do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I deserve to be covered in dicks
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
