if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
