She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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