Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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