and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
