Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
