In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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