doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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