is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
