Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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