Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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