the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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