Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I would ride that face into the sunset
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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