So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
