I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
