The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize