just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There's always time for handjobs
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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