I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
