Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
