her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
