Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
