Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
