If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
