So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
