need another drink. this is the easiest way
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
