3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
