Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
