that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
