You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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