You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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