She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
