Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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