I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
