i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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