whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
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I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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