I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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