and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you have to choose: penises or morals?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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