I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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